Security and adventure

Here it is again,

that old familiar tension

between security and adventure,

a central dichotomy in my life.

For a while now I have clung to employment

like a life raft through turbulent seas,

rescued from joblessness,

begging not to be set down again.

But suddenly today

a lifting, a shifting

physically in shoulders and upper chest

a releasing and then

a new perspective arrives.

I dare to imagine again

the freedom of breaking from the nine to five,

boarding a plane to who knows where,

making money who knows how,

I dream, and work looks a little dull.

It’s back,

that old familiar tension

between security and adventure.

In the past I’ve see-sawed between the two,

now I want to learn to balance.

Dreaming of flying

Running along the ground

Then uphill, through the air, 

As if climbing an invisible flight of steps,

And then I am flying.

Soaring above buildings, trees,

Free.

Feeling the sensation in my whole body.

I wake, exhilarated.

I’ve had this dream only a handful of times in my life,

Always vivid,

Always when I’m on the brink of an adventure.

I think it’s time

To have it again.