The light and the dark

Living with long covid is a journey of emotional ups and downs.  Here are two examples:

The Light

11th March 2024

This was the second doodle that I was able to do.  Playing with 3 bright, light colours, reflecting the fact that I was able to get up, go downstairs, sit on the sofa and draw. Finding joy in the process.  I set a timer for 10 mins to make sure I didn’t overdo it, then rested lying down before doing a bit more.  It’s only small, but because I could only work on it for 10 minutes at a time it took 3 days to finish.

The Dark

13th January 2024. 

Still pretty much bedbound.  I wrote in my diary

‘Just getting worse, not better.  This illness just takes and takes, life shrinks, joy is leached away’. 

Followed by:

Again and again
I hit rock bottom,
only to find
the ground gives way
and I
keep
falling.

Immediately after I wrote this I felt emotional, and then I felt a bit better. I realised it was only half the story, so I wrote another verse.

Again and again
I hit rock bottom,
only to find
the ground gives way
and I
keep
falling.

And yet
each time I fall,
something tenacious in me
reaches out,
takes my hand,
eases me gently
back
towards
the light.