A rushing kind of a day
Deep within the demands of work
So I concentrate
Get things done
And forget myself
Now it’s evening and
I peel myself away from the TV
Put on some music
Slow down into
An hour later
Reawoken to the truth
That if I slow down
Underneath the rush
Below the fear, the fuss, the resistance
Peace is always waiting
A blessing and a curse
this vivid imagination
conjuring up so many pleasant daydream worlds,
and paintings, stories, poems, music.
Allowing me to put myself in another’s shoes,
Enabling me to imagine the worse possible catastrophic outcome
for any situation I find myself in.
My body doesn’t know
that the stories in my head are not real,
and responds with pleasure, excitement, fear, dread, anxiety,
feeling it all, deeply.
And it takes a strong rational act of will to calm down,
to find a way back into the here and now.
Leaving the world of the imagination is not easy.
A blessing, and a curse.
said the monkey mind
‘that I think too much’.
And she scampers off busily
up thought trees tangled
Narratives twisting towards the light
thrusting up strange blooms,
every shade of the emotional rainbow.
Curious to know more,
the monkey scampers on.
the voice chattering away
in the jungle of my mind.
Does that monkey ever sleep?
Those small things that you deny yourself,
The movie, or book,
Night out with friends,
Or bunch of flowers
That you think you don’t deserve.
Leading on to more denial,
The kind words you would bestow on a stranger
But wouldn’t consider saying to yourself,
Preferring instead the harshness
Of an inner critic
The chances not taken
By the likes of you,
Paths left unwalked,
A life half lived.
You can’t deny
You need to lighten up.
Be kind to yourself and
To the joy in this world.
Driving to work
Past fields and hedges and trees without leaves,
The distant fells of the Lake District,
A milky opalescent dawn sky,
And I feel so happy
And I think, if I could send a message
To my younger self
I would say
I know things don’t feel easy.
But it will all work out in the end.
Take it one step at a time, don’t worry so much.
Life still has its ups and downs,
But the view from here is worth it.’