We think we know the ‘why’ of anxiety,
Spiralling up from all those things we fear;
pressure; external and internal,
death, deadlines, illness, perfectionism,
unemployment, failure.
So many ‘whys’
–
But what about the ‘where’?
Where is it?
–
The geography of anxiety is within the body.
Our bodies become shaped for anxious feeling,
the hunch of a shoulder,
the jutting forward of a chin,
the clenching of a jaw,
the tightness of a belly,
the holding of a ribcage,
like contours on a map.
Anxiety roams this bodyscape,
energy in a landscape of tension.
–
It lives below awareness,
coming to the surface occasionally
like a fish, silently swimming, unobserved,
leaping suddenly to catch a mayfly.
–
We hold our bodies in preparation for an unwelcome guest,
trapping it’s energy within.
Not allowing the natural progression of emotion and energy
to ebb and flow and dissipate.
–
We hold ourselves tight within our armoured castles
in the mistaken belief that we are protecting ourselves,
until the anxiety spills out without a reason
in quiet moments and times that should be happy,
and we feel out of control,
scared of being scared.
–
Next time the storm arrives, let’s watch it, feel it
let it be the map.
Let it guide us to our tensions,
sherpa-like.
Focus on those sensations and they will pass.
Not easy, when caught in a whirlwind of worries,
and dread.
But worth it.
And eventually, over a lifetime maybe,
relax so the inner landscapes are so calm,
that anxiety can flow straight through
like a river of energy,
leaving us unperturbed.
